Anyone with even a limited understanding of Jewish prayer knows well that our prayers are very “fixed,” as in scripted and liturgical. On the surface, it would seem that the model of praying with a liturgy gives little room for the interjection of one’s own personal and heartfelt prayers. This being the case, it’s fair to ask, “What place do my own personal prayers have in a fixed, liturgical prayer?”
Rabbi Shimon said: Be careful with the reading of the Shema and prayer. And when you pray, do not make your prayer fixed, but a plea for mercy and supplication before God blessed is He as it is said, “For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abandoning in kindness, and renouncing punishment.” And do not be wicked in your own esteem.
In this Mishnah from tractate Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Shimon cautions us against making our prayers “fixed,” or “standardized.” According to Maimonides, Rabbi Shimon is teaching us that one should not feel as though their prayer is a heavy burden upon them, so much so that they consider prayer to be a chore that they are commanded to do at certain times and then are free from.
However, fixed prayer has many rules about what, when, and how the prayers are to be said. How can one practice this type of prayer day in and day out and not eventually feel as though it is a burden, or chore, that one wants to get over with as quickly as possible? Wouldn’t it be better then for prayer not to be fixed, but only personal?
Before we completely discount the relevance of our fixed liturgy though, it must be stressed that our liturgy is full of beautiful and poetic language that expresses our national aspirations with words of praise, request, and thanksgiving. While it's true fixed prayer has many rules, it’s also true that concentrating on its words and endeavoring to internalize its timeless messages can be a deeply spiritual exercise. Additionally, fixed liturgical prayer allows us to gather for public worship in a way personal prayer can’t. What would public worship look like if we all only said our own personal prayers?
So, how are we supposed to reconcile this? Rabbi Hayim David Halevy, basing himself on much earlier traditions, teaches that anyone who wants to add their own personal prayers into the middle blessings of the Amida prayer may do so. The middle blessings of the Amidah constitute all of the blessings between the first three and last three blessings. For example, if one was in need of a livelihood then they can make their personal requests for one in birkat ha’shanim, which is the blessing where we ask God for a fruitful year. Or another example, if one is in need of healing then they can make their requests in birkat refa’enu, which is the blessing where we ask God for healing. Rabbi Halevy also teaches that one may insert any of their own personal prayers to God in the blessing shomeah tefillah, which is the blessing where we ask God to hear our prayers. If one were to adopt this practice, then what they would do is recite the blessing as it is in their siddur like they always do, but before concluding with, say, baruch attah Hashem rofeh cholei amo Yisrael (blessed are You Lord who heals the sick among your people Israel), they would say their own personal prayers for healing at that time. The practice of incorporating our own prayers into the Amidah can enhance our prayer experience by allowing us to benefit from both the fixed communal prayer as well as our own personal prayers.
Rabbi Nachman of Breslav, the last Rebbe of the Breslav chassidic dynasty, taught his followers a very special prayer practice. Hitbodedut, which means “self isolation,” is the practice of secluding oneself from the noise of the world to the fullest extent possible in order to speak to God from the heart in one’s own language. It’s a type of meditation in which, ideally, the one praying strives for a deep and abiding personal connection with their Creator as they pour out their heart to God using their own words. Rebbe Nachman encouraged his chassidim practice hitbodedut for at least an hour a day. Finding an entire hour to do this could be very challenging, but maybe we could find five or ten minutes to do so?
Perhaps the answer to our question of what place do our personal prayers have in a fixed liturgical prayer can be discovered in finding the right balance between personal and fixed prayers. Maybe prayer is best expressed when we combine our personal prayers with our fixed liturgy like Rabbi Halevy teaches. This practice allows us to align our national aspirations with our personal ones. Also, it’s important to remember that all of our prayers need not be read from a siddur. We can speak to God from our hearts and in our own words whenever we decide to make the time.
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