I don’t think it’s a secret that I really love music. When I’m in my office I listen to music almost all the time to help me work. The music I choose fits the mood and the tone of what I’m working on. Each year I share this love of music with you in the form of the supplemental booklets you receive at services. The bulk of these booklets are lyrics to songs that for one reason or another have evoked an emotional response in me. This year’s music will be no different and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts over the holidays. I was sitting in my office tonight, thinking of a song I didn’t remember to put in the booklet and I’m so disappointed. The lyric I keep singing to myself is: “Hold me now, it’s hard for me to say I’m sorry, I just want you to stay.” The reason this came to mind is that I was reflecting on the painful and difficult nature of the word sorry. All too often we struggle to say that word because of what comes with it: admission of guilt, self-reflection of having been wrong, being seen as the aggressor and/or the victim and so much more. For many of us, we hold onto a disagreement or a fight because we cannot find the exit we need. We hold onto bitterness and our own point of view because to let go and say sorry leaves us all too vulnerable and thus we just keep going without making a mend. In fact, “it’s hard for me to say I’m sorry.”
In the course of an apology, there are two sides of the process: “The apologizer” and “the forgiver.” We had a great conversation at camp this summer about this process. We often think of it as a transactional event. We say sorry and the other person says something like “oh it’s not such a big deal.” The problem is, it might very well have been a big deal. The reality is we’re expected to say we forgive but we don’t always mean it, and at times we’re forced to forgive before we’re even remotely ready to do so. The famous 18th century English poet, Alexander Pope, famously wrote “To err is human, to forgive, Divine.” This is a true idea and yet it’s a hard pill for us to swallow. The Rambam, in his Mishneh Torah, wrote about the laws of Repentance and in his second chapter on the subject he lays out a process for repenting for us to follow. For instance, “what is complete repentance? He who once more had it in his power to repeat a violation but separated himself therefrom, and did not do it because of repentance, not out of fear or lack of strength.” That’s the conclusion of the process, but it’s given at the beginning. In keeping with both Mishnaic and Talmudic views on Teshuvah, the Rambam explained that sins between humans and God can be forgiven by God but only the aggrieved party can forgive us for having hurt them. The Rambam elaborated on this by explaining “It is forbidden for man to be ill-natured and unforgiving, for he must be easily appeased but hard to wrath; and when a sinner implores him for pardon, he should grant him pardon wholeheartedly and soulfully. Even if one persecuted him and sinned against him exceedingly he should not be vengeful and grudge-bearing, for such is the path of the seed of Israel and of their excellent heart.”
At this time of year, we’re looking for forgiveness from God and from others as well. We all must fully understand just how hard it is to say I’m sorry. It’s grueling and painful but it’s a necessary part of life. Find opportunities to make time to apologize to everyone you have offended this past year. I’m sure none of us will be able to apologize to everyone, but we can try to do the best we can. I, for one, try to be the best rabbi for you each day and yet I know there are times that I’ve missed the mark. I know I haven’t called when I should have. I know decisions I made have upset people. I know I haven’t learned every person’s name and I sincerely want to know everyone at OVS. I know I haven’t always returned emails or messages. For all of these things, and so much more, I am very sorry. I can and will do better for you and for our community.
Moshe Ibn Ezra wrote “No sin is so light that it may be overlooked; no sin is so heavy that it may not be repented of.” As we look deeper and deeper each of us needs to understand that little mistakes matter and major ones can still be made right. We all have the ability to apologize and we all have the ability to forgive in due time. While Rabbi Israel Salanter said “As long as the candle burns – I can still do some mending,” I would rather look at the words of Hillel, “If not now, when?” We cannot put off this hard work and the best time to begin anything hard is now. So, lets each walk this path together and side by side we’ll find the ways we need to say we’re sorry and then find the space in our hearts to forgive.
One of the great rituals of the High Holidays that’s linked to forgiveness and apologizing is the tashlich service. Last year, we had the great treat of traveling as a community to Camp Ramah Darom in Clayton, GA and spending the day improving through archery, rope climbing, hiking and so much more, along with a hike to the waterfall where we threw away our sins with bread and dissolvable paper. We are doing the same thing again this year and we hope you’ll join us as our community moves forward. We’ll be meeting at Camp Ramah Darom on Sunday, October 2, 2022 from 11:00 am to 4:00 pm. Please click here to make your reservation: orveshalom.org/event/FieldDay2022.
Tizkoo L’Shanim Rabot.
Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Hearshen
Deadline TonightExtended to 10:00 pm! Accessing High Holiday Services
Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur Services will be offered on Zoom for seniors and others with COVID concerns.
Tickets for High Holiday Services are a benefit of membership and access to our Zoom will be limited to members in good standing. Advanced registration is required.
We must receive your request by Thursday September 22, 2022 at 10 PM for Rosh Hashana and by Monday, October 3, 2022 at 12 PM for Yom Kippur.
Links for Rosh Hashana will be sent on Friday, September 23. Links for Yom Kippur will be sent on Tuesday, October 4. The link you receive will be unique to you, can only be used on one device, and cannot be shared with others.
Prayer books can be borrowed (please request in your email to Nicole) and can be picked up from the OVS office during regular business hours before each holiday.
Zoom will remain open throughout each holiday to avoid actively using technology.
Candlelighting time on September 23 is 7:14 pm.
Masks are strongly encouraged inside the building. Kiddush will be served in the tent.
Rosh Hashana Day 1 Morning Services – 8:30 am Childcare/Youth Services 9:00 am – 1:00 pm *Experiential Style Service 10:00 – 11:00 am Shofar is Sounded – approximately 11:00 am Mincha/Arvit – 6:00 pm Candle Lighting no earlier than 8:04 pm
Rosh Hashana Day 2 Morning Services 8:30 am Childcare/Youth Services 9:00 am – 1:00 pm Shofar is Sounded – approximately 11:00 am Rosh Hashana Ends – 8:04 pm
See details in box below.
Experiential Service
The Experiential Service is an exciting opportunity for a new and innovative service with singing and story-telling. Helene Kates will be leading this special hour long service in the Maslia Chapel on Rosh Hashana Day 1 and on Yom Kippur at 10:00 am. It should be an incredible and deep experience.
Prayer Book Page Numbers
Please click here for a list of page numbers for the De Sola Pool Mahzor (blue book) if you are participating on Zoom. The page numbers called out during services will be for the new red Sephardic Rosh Ashana Mahzor (Seattle) being used at OVS.
This list will be important for you to follow along at home.
Parking
OVS members are welcome to park at OVS on a first come, first serve basis. Parking passes are required for the OVS lot. Please write your name on the pass and place it on your dashboard. Retain your ticket for Yom Kippur.
The shuttle bus will run on Rosh Hashana Day 1 and Yom Kippur from 9:30 am - 2:00 pm. You will be required to show your Member or Guest Ticket to board the bus.
Security personnel will be located in both lots to assist you.
Please do not park at Cross Keys High School on weekdays. Cars will be towed.
OVS is proud to partner with JF&CS. Food donation barrels are located in the lobby at OVS.
BIRTHDAYS
Shabbat Zehava Eichenbaum
Sunday Angel Pupo Yashal Ilyayev Zachary Maslia
Monday Marvin Bernstein
Tuesday Madeline Sater
Wednesday Mia Yakubov Richard Benator
Thursday Brittany Tenenbaum Elaine Levine James Arogeti Miriam Wasileski
Friday Alexa Maslia Justin Matthew Seligson Shane Sevy
ANNIVERSARIES Sunday Albert and Jeanie Marx
Meldados
Shabbat Clara Azulay Melo Shirley Kassorla Becky M. Alhadeff Scott Butler
Sunday Isaac Nerenbaum Rachel Galante Capouya Lillian Viness
